Empowering Foster Kids: Trauma-Informed Strategies for First Responders With Sharon Dunlevy

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SUMMARIZED TRANSCRIPT

Brent Colbert: Guys, welcome to the First Responder Playbook. I have a special guest with me today. I have Sharon Dunlevy. She is an educational advocate for children in foster care. She brings the educational needs of children in foster care to the attention of those who can change policies and practices that would give more children in foster care the ability to succeed educationally.

Her primary work includes training foster parents on the educational laws that affect their children in foster care and how to use those laws to ensure these children graduate successfully. She speaks, and she's an influencer. I'm excited to talk about how what she does can be applied to the law enforcement and first responder world.

And Sharon, the floor is yours.

Sharon Dunlevy: Thank you, Brent. I'm so excited to be here. I appreciate you letting me come on your show. As I was saying before we started recording, when I got this suggestion to come and speak at this podcast, I wasn't sure why I would do that.

And then I thought about it. I thought, of course, first responders deal with kids in foster care, probably more than an average citizen. But what does it mean when they're in foster care, and especially that trauma side? I would imagine that a lot of first responders meet kids in the midst of trauma and not always know how to handle that, right?

These poor kids are just going crazy. And you might think, Why are they like this? Why are they reacting the way they are? And a lot of that has to do with maybe they've got trauma in their past, like they're a kid in foster care, or something has happened to them, and it's going to dictate how they react in the midst of a crisis.

And so I just thought that was an intriguing idea to come on here and talk about, what does trauma look like for these kids? And then what are some ways, maybe I could make your jobs easier by knowing how to respond to a kid who has trauma in their background when they're in the middle of a crisis.

Brent Colbert: Absolutely. So, how did you initially get in, like the foster care world?

Sharon Dunlevy: I studied to be an educator, special education specifically, but then I got called to ministry. I was actually a children's pastor for 20 years and then decided I wanted to go back and branch out again to more vulnerable children.

I bounced around from different jobs. But with my special education background, there was a job opening at a foster care licensing agency here in Indianapolis, and it just seemed like the perfect fit. I knew how the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act worked. I knew all of that. I took the job and just fell in love with the whole foster care program and the kids and the foster parents and just what they're going through and what they need educationally, because a lot of times we don't talk about that a lot.

You mentioned before we started recording that the foster kids tend to get forgotten, and I think they do. We know they exist. Outside of maybe a TV show where they might mention somebody got arrested, and oh, they were a foster kid, right? That's what we hear. But that's not the foster care world. These are real kids with real issues. And a lot of times, they're getting lost in the system and getting lost in the educational system.

What I do is specifically focus on what trauma does to a child that causes them not to learn the same way as a child who has not had trauma. How do we then overcome that so that once they do graduate, they're ready to live independently, to get a job, to have a career, to have a family, and be successful as adults?

Brent Colbert: So, as first responders, we respond to these critical incidents, whether it be between family members or just overall in general, and that's police, fire, EMS, we're all going to deal with that at some point. Yes. Can you touch on how the trauma affects them and what it does to these children?

Sharon Dunlevy: Yeah, so trauma not only affects a child emotionally, it actually affects the brain physically. We're learning so much about the brain. And what happens is it literally shrinks neurons in the brain. And so certain pathways shut down, meaning the more negative experiences, the more of those neurons that build around experiences, and those negative experiences grow.

They become stuck in a kind of survival mode. I'm sure all of you have heard the terms fight, flight, or freeze as a way that people respond. That is doubled or tripled for a kid who has trauma. They're not in their logical brain at all. They're already children, so they're not necessarily logical anyway, but then their brains are shrunk as well, so they're even younger than they seem to be, and stuck in survival mode. Am I going to fight? Am I going to freeze? Am I going to fly away, run away? And I'm sure you've all experienced it. You've had a crisis come up, and you've had a kid who just came out swinging at you, and you're like, whoa!

But just the uniform itself can cause a kid to overreact, especially if they're in foster care, and the last time they saw a uniform like that was because the person removed them from their home. So the uniform itself, or authority.

You may have that kid who hides when you're there; they never want to come out. Trying to get them to come out of the closet when something is happening around them, how hard is that? Because they don't know who to trust, and they're in that freeze or fight mode. Kids who run away. That happens a lot, unfortunately.

And as a first responder, you've got to deal with what's happening in front of you. You can't be worrying about the kid who's running down the street. But then, who is worried about the kid who's running down the street? And that's a trauma response. It is just all survival instinct. And they don't know how to break out of that survival mode to think logically.

We can teach our kids to overcome trauma. But it's not going to be in that moment. It takes a lot of time and a lot of new experiences.

Brent Colbert: Is there anything, like when they first get on scene, like these first responders, is there anything they can do to help overcome those types of situations when they pop up?

Sharon Dunlevy: Yeah. Maintaining, obviously, some calmness around yourself, getting down to their level. Talking to them about things that are not related to the situation. If a kid is really triggered and screaming and yelling, point out something around them, like, “Oh wait, do you see that bird?”

It breaks that pattern. Anything you can do to disrupt those thoughts. We talk a lot when I teach my foster parents how to overcome meltdowns. We talk a lot about using our five senses.

I know a lot of firemen, especially, but police officers, too, will carry stuffed animals right in their vehicles. It's not just the comfort of the stuffed animal; it's actually the feel of it. You're grounding them in their senses, and if you can do that, it helps to break that pattern.

Also, instead of saying, You need to sit over here, give them two choices. A lot of times, kids in trauma feel like they don't have any power, and so when we tell them to do something that's one more time, they don't have a choice. So saying, “Hey, I can't have you right here, but can you either sit over there or over there,” and let them choose. It just gives them that teeny little sense of choice, but that gives them that little bit of power that might help calm them down.

Another thing to watch for is if they're very hypervigilant, they're always looking around. That might be a sign that this is a kid who has experienced trauma before and just know to approach them cautiously, quietly.

The other thing you can do is, even if they don't want to talk to you or whatever, just breathe with them. You know how yawns are contagious. Breathing is contagious. If you take some deep breaths in front of them, they will start mimicking it without you having to say anything because it's an automatic neural response that we have. So those are just some things you can do.

Brent Colbert: I love that.

I'm actually working on my ICF coaching certification right now. Something I've had to overcome as a first responder, especially a police officer, is that our first instinct is to always be in control. And I don't think most of us mean it negatively. But you're trying to handle the situation. Now that I’m learning these coaching techniques, that is one of the things they rely heavily on. Don't lead them or don't tell them we're going to go somewhere. Ask them questions to get them there. And that has been, I don't want to call it a struggle for me, but it's a change. Because I've just been so conditioned to always being in control.

Sharon Dunlevy: Yeah, I'm a control freak. I know I am. And as a parent, I had to overcome that. Once you're a parent, you don't have control of anything.

I can imagine it's a huge mindset shift, and your thought is on what you need to do next. It's not necessarily that person in front of you once you know they're safe. You move on to who's going to be next that needs to be safe, or how do I contain this situation? But if you can just slow down just a hair to make sure the kid is calm and okay, then you know that's the way to do it.

You guys work in teams, so if you've got somebody on your team who is just really good with kids, that's their assigned job. When you reach a scene that they're looking for the kids to get them corralled and calmed down.

Brent Colbert: I think that's a very good point you make because I've been a supervisor at two different agencies, and that is something I've learned to take into account. Gone are the days of law enforcement just throwing everybody on a shift. We have to manage personalities and people. And every person is strong in a certain area. I've come to realize I don't have kids yet. I'm not terrible with them, but I would probably have someone with kids go deal with them before I would. Because they know how to interact with them better than I do.

I'm not saying I'm terrible with them. But I do know some of my partners who are terrible with kids. And I would probably say, Hey, go deal with the parents.  Let somebody else deal with the children.

And that's something we have to take into account. You might be a little bit better in this situation over here, and I might be better over here.

Sharon Dunlevy: Teamwork in any field is a huge piece. We don't do it alone. You're not going in to be the hero of the day. It's the team that's going to do it. And I think we lose some of that in our society. We've become very individualistic, but we need to bring back this sense of teamwork, and everybody can be part of a team.

When foster parents become foster parents, they realize very quickly that they are not doing this alone. They're a team. They've got case managers, they've got therapists, they've got school staff, and they are all working together for the best of the child. And the really good foster parents, schools, and case managers understand that, and they put that child in the center.

But sometimes we lose focus. We all do. And I always really like to go back to that team mentality because it really does make a difference. And if you know your supervisor is going to pick you to do something that you are good at and you enjoy, over something you don't enjoy, you're more likely to enjoy your work. You're more likely to feel appreciated, to be seen and heard, and know that you are bringing skills to the team.

Everybody has a strength. It's a matter of finding that strength and then how you each work together to make those strengths be a big whole. That is powerful.

Brent Colbert: Our involvement is once the situation's over. Can you touch on what the process is like once they're out of that situation and they're placed into custody of the state or tribe, whichever it may be? And what happens once they're in that system?

Sharon Dunlevy: Each state is slightly different, but overall, what usually happens is a kid will be removed from a situation where the kid cannot live in this home. Once the child enters the child welfare system, all of the licensing agencies within that state will be contacted. They'll say, “I have a 8-year-old girl who needs a home in this area.” And the agencies will quickly contact any foster family with an opening for a child. It is a first-come, first-served. Usually, it goes very quickly, very smoothly, especially in emergency placements.

However, we do have issues when they are teenagers. Sometimes it's harder to find families to take teenagers, so when you hear stories about kids living in the offices and stuff like that, it's usually older kids who are just harder to place.

Brent Colbert: Once they're placed, is there like a permanent court order that comes down saying, Hey, they're going to be assigned to these families until X, Y, and Z's are met?

Sharon Dunlevy: Yes, exactly. It becomes a court case. The juvenile court system takes over, and they work with the case managers. The case managers will do a full report on what's happening with the bio family and the home that they're placed in.

A lot of states are moving to what we call a reunification plan. So, in most states, the plan is that we want mom and dad to be able to take the kids back. That's usually best. But they have to be able to meet certain expectations. And so that will be settled in court with the judge.

Brent Colbert: These kids are going through all this trauma, the stress, the anxiety. How do you help them on the educational side so that they're succeeding in moving forward in life?

Sharon Dunlevy: When I started as an educational advocate in the licensing agency, I actually would go to the IEP, the individualized education plan, meetings. I would make sure that the schools understood that they were foster kids, what their triggers were, and all that.

Now I run a foster care training business myself, and I contract with different states and licensing agencies to train their foster parents on the education laws that help foster kids. How do you apply those laws, and how do you talk to your schools about those laws?

There are three laws that I teach. The Every Student Succeeds Act, which allow kids who are in foster care to stay in the same school, even if their new home is out of district. Or if they do have to change schools, they can immediately enroll even if they are missing records.

Then I use the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act to make sure that they're getting accommodations and extra help, because generally, they're going to be behind their peers. And a lot of that has to do with the fact that the brain has shrunk from trauma. Our brains can recover, but we have to be deliberate. We have to be constantly introducing new material and positive reinforcement for that brain to redevelop and rewire so it's not sitting in fight, flight, or freeze anymore. I teach the foster parents how to work with the schools to understand trauma-informed.

The last law I teach them is what's called Family First, and it actually has provisions and money set aside for kids who are 14 all the way up to the age of 23. It's designed to help them transition out of foster care into the an adult.

Brent Colbert: That's awesome.

A lot of schools have school resource officers now. Honestly, they're the front lines of law enforcement because they see them every day. What are some things that they can do to make a positive impression on these kids? So that way that they don't have a negative connotation of law enforcement.

Sharon Dunlevy: That's a great question because there are a lot of issues around school resource officers, depending on the school system again. Some school systems have really trained them well and have the understanding that they're there more for the big things; if somebody's brought a gun to school, if somebody is selling drugs on the school grounds.

But what's happened in some school districts is that the school resource officers have become the disciplinary officers. And that's not what their job is supposed to be. That is the job of the teachers and the administrators, and so that's where we get into the problems. When they're being asked to be police within the school system, but they don't understand kids with trauma.

They need to be trained, just like any other school staff, on what a child with disabilities looks like. What does a child with trauma look like? How do we approach kids?

I went to a high school, and they did it on purpose, but their school resources officers were three very big men who dressed in black suits. You would've thought they were part of the Secret Service, and they were there to intimidate. And I had tons of kids who were having problems in that school, because the SROs set that tone.

And so it really is on the schools to train those SROs and use them correctly. Don't make them the disciplinarian. If a kid's running in the hallway, that's not their job. That is the job of a teacher, an administrator. Their job is to be there to make sure that kids are not bringing in drugs, guns, etc.

Brent Colbert: Police matters.

Sharon Dunlevy: Yeah, police matters. And really, all they should be doing is containing the situation till you guys can come on the scene and take over. And that's really what it should be.

Now, here I live in a suburb of Indianapolis, and we actually have a program called a youth assistance program. And what we do is work with the SROs to identify kids who seem to be on the verge of getting into trouble, like they may be at risk of becoming a kid who's going to bring a gun to school or a kid who's going to have drug or alcohol issues. And they became referral agents for us.

The SROs have reported that they are much more comfortable sending them to us than calling in the police and getting this kid a record when it was just one stupid mistake. I would love to see more communities do something like that, where they really engage those SROs in highlighting who those kids are that we see continually showing some signs of trouble, and then let's get them the help. Do we refer them to a school counselor? Do we refer them to somebody else rather than waiting till they make a mistake?

Brent Colbert: That's awesome. And that's really an out-of-the-box way of thinking of things. Kudos to them for trying something new.

Sharon Dunlevy: We’ve had some resistance. Some schools don't like to hear that maybe they have kids who sell drugs on their campus and stuff. But it happens. But if we can catch them before they enter the system, how much better is our community?

Brent Colbert: And you can apply that theory to law enforcement in general. Like you can say crime doesn't happen in your town, but it does. And if you can prevent it before it happens, even better.

Sharon Dunlevy: Suburbs tend to be the worst because they like to think of themselves as richer, more educated, yet they're the kids who can afford the drugs. They're the parents who have prescription drugs sitting at home.

Brent Colbert: Absolutely.

Let me ask you this. What can first responders do to get more training in this area?

Sharon Dunlevy: You can talk to your school systems. Maybe they have some programs that they could offer to first responders.

Talk to your mental health providers in the area. I'm sure they'd love to come in and talk about things like disabilities, trauma, and other types of mental health crises. I'm sure that they've never thought about it, and all it takes is somebody to ask, “Hey, could you talk to us about this?” And they'd probably jump all over it.

Brent Colbert: I want to give you the closing word tonight. What is something that touches your heart, or something that we can do better at, that is your call to action?

Sharon Dunlevy: My call to action is to start paying attention to what's going on with foster kids. And it's hard because we don't talk about it a lot.

I've been trying to push this in all the podcasts that I do; I especially would like for religious organizations to think about opening their doors to foster parents. Foster parents need support. They need support groups. Need a place where they feel safe to meet, where maybe the church or whatever organization could even provide childcare, because that's hard to find, childcare. But they need to be able to meet with other foster parents. They need that time where they can be one-on-one with other foster parents to really just get that sense of community and support, and our churches and our religious organizations are really the ideal locations for that.

Brent Colbert: Sharon, it's been great having you.

Sharon Dunlevy: Thank you for having me, Brent.